Once more into the breach

It's funny how passion can leave you. How you can become jaded and hardened to things. It's also kind of funny how one little thing can change it all around. For me it was a letter from a friend. My friend was over in India helping out at a private hospital. In this last letter she included some entries from her personal journal about the joys and struggles of being in that country. One of the hardest things for her to deal with was the casual abuse, even murder, of women that occurs in that country. While reading her letter it hit me like a tidal wave. All the old emotions, all the old reasons, all the old anger at the casual abuse that occurs to girls in this country. The girls I grew up with, the girls I still know and the ones I've just met. It's been awhile since one has told me there story and I guess it's part of why I have forgotten. It brings me back to my years of summer camp, listening to the stories of campers and leaders alike as they struggle through what has happened to them. Now I struggle with who I've become. What changed me from the person they were comfortable to talk to? What has changed that I don't see them as I once did? Well my vision is clear again and the pain fills me once more but this is a good pain, a comfortable pain. It's the pain of longing. Longing to help heal, to help restore, to show them love. The simple caring love that says "If you need me I'm there." The love given to me long ago, and the love continual received from the Father. In this place I have become more confident and social but if the trade off is this inability to be an aid then forget it, I'm done. I'll be true to myself and care for those who are here because it means something. It is the one thing I can offer that will ever make a difference even if it's just a little one. I'll be damned if I'll be distracted any longer. So once more we charge into the breach...