All talk as long as the other person isn't around

Okay so I have probably ranted about this before but you know what I think it deserves a repeat mention. If you have something to say about someone that you don't want them to hear, then don't say it! Seriously it's not that hard to keep your mouth shut, heck it's a lot easier than flapping your lips. I mean really now, especially in a close community like the one I'm living in. Yet I always hear people who are shocked that someone heard about some comment that was thought to have been made in confidence. Two things about that: 1) if you don't tell someone not to say anything to ANYBODY they will probably tell someone, who will tell someone else and so on until it reaches the person you didn't want to hear it. 2) People may have loyalties that you don't know about, so gossiping, ranting or complaining about someone is a bit of a risk. I mean don't gossip it's just stupid unless you were there you don't even have a hope understanding what went on and even then you probably don't know all the factors that went in to creating the events. If you need to rant write in a journal or an anonymous blog. Complaining that's a hard one, it would be my big trouble spot. Thing I'm realizing is that what we say when we complain either is stupid or sounds stupid. Seriously think about what you just said after you finish complaining and you'll probably be at least a little embarrassed with yourself. Or at least you will if you take the time to see it from someone else's perspective. It's all really assumptions and egocentricity. All right I can tell this probably isn't all that clear so just think of Aesop's Fable about the North Wind and the Sun. If you don't know it you can find it on-line but believe it or not it applies very well to life.